Well, well, well. Welcome to week four in the 4th and Inches league. There isn’t much more need for introduction. So, without further adieu, our week four recap:
Muskies then Chubbie vs. Fire the Cannons
Upset alert! Tyler’s Muskies the Chubbie team essentially coasted into week four with a perfect 3-0 record and if things went according to projections, he was set on scoring 144.86 points. Sherm and Fire the Cannons came in playing for pride. Sitting at 1-2, expectations were relatively low, similar to how he lives his life. Fire the Cannons were projected to score 132.99, nothing to shake a stick at.
Once the Monday night games were finished, it turned out to be the week’s biggest blowout. Fire the Cannons came about as close to projections as possible with a total of 131.52 points which destroyed Muskies who only put up 59.5 points. Muskies has said all year they’re not scared and his team is the best in the league. If that’s the case, what does that mean for Fire the Cannons?
Hyde ‘n Zeke vs. MakeAndrewGreatAgain
If anyone thought Andrew’s MakeAndrewGreatAgain team would be 3-0 heading into week four you’d be about as delusional as a Jo Jorgensen fan thinking she had any shot to be president. Early projections had Andrew losing to Hyde ‘n Zeke by a score of 136.4 to 141.99, a win that Ron and his team desperately needed.
This was a relatively close game…if by close you think Andrew’s eyes are after several sips of gluten free booze. MakeAndrewGreatAgain got absolutely MOPPED in this one by a score of 162.88 to 104.32. Ron rides home on his high horse still trying to get an entire team for Dalvin Cook while Andrew goes home to pet his cat similar to Dr. Evil from Austin Powers as he awaits his next week’s opponent.
Bills Deep vs. EatSleepFantasy
Heading into week four, Bills Deep sat at 1-2 and was in a relatively good position. They were reached out to by Nate of Michael Thomas who was interested in some players. To say things shook up the league would be an understatement. Bills Deep got Michael Thomas and David Johnson for Mike Davis and Todd Gurley, a trade that will either go down as the lopsided trades in league history or one of the greatest steals by Nate.
Bills Deep was pitted against Marque of EatSleepFantasy who, contrary to his team name, also eats, sleeps, and watches the stock market more than a sex addict watching PornHub. Each team came into week four at 1-2 with sights set on improving to .500. So unless Tyler, league commissioner, has the league rules set to tie…we had a great matchup on our hands.
Bills Deep was projected to squish EatSleepFantasy by a score of 140.56 to 114.58. In a weird turn of events, they flipped the script and EatSleepFantasy won 140.66 to 116.62. An almost perfect flip of projected to scored points.
Run CMC vs. Trump 2020
When two cousins face each other, who knows what can happen. Curt vs. Alec. Baker vs. Nelson. Clown vs. Clown. Run CMC have had their share of heartbreak this season with CMC being hurt for several weeks now and players underperforming. However, in week four, things looked to turn in their favor.
Run CMC was projected to score 125.76 to Trump 2020’s 134.24 but after Sunday night, things were coming down to the wire. Curt’s team had only Patrick Mahomes left and was down by 22 points to Alec who needed a win in fantasy more than Call of Duty. Mahomes ended up with 24 points, good enough to eek out a 149.14-147.94 win over Run CMC.
Keenen & Kel vs. The Big House
Sticking with the bad luck mantra, Randy’s Big House has had about as bad of luck as you can have in a season. Julio Jones, his number one wide receiver, has been underperforming and been hurt all year. George Kittle has missed two games. Derek Henry missed week four due to the Titans COVID outbreak. However, like Michigan, Randy never lost hope.
The Big House was projected to score 115.16 which would be their highest points total all season. In an unprecedented turn of events, they scored 131.5 and looked well on their way to their first victory. However, Yianni who thinks he’s so cool set up his team to score 152.38 points meaning The Big House drops to 0-4 and Yianni sits at 3-1 in third place. And yes, everyone’s significant other in this league still oogles over Yianni every chance they get.
Michael Thomas vs. Let Russ Be Culinary
We finish the week with a quick recap of another shellacking in week four. Nate’s Michael Thomas team has also had heartbreak after heartbreak and couldn’t even hit their 118.7 projection. On the other hand, Slade’s Let Russ Be Culinary is 4-0 and good enough to change their name. Why not.
Michael Thomas, who’s not even on Nate’s team anymore, mustered up only 103 points to Let Russ Be Culinary’s 153.7, meaning they’ll be heading into week five as the number one seed with a target on their back. Michael Thomas on the other hand slides into week five without Michael Thomas and clown paint all over their faces.
For those who lost, remember there’s always next week. For those who won, remember there’s always next week to screw things up. See you next week.