Here we are. Football is back and things feel somewhat normal. Each week we’ll be bringing you the biggest headlines from each fantasy matchup from 4th and Inches. To be clear, my views and opinions do not represent those of the league.
Muskies then Chubbie vs. Bills Deep
It’s only fitting to start off with Bakedell, I mean Tyler’s, matchup against the weirdest thing in fantasy football, a dynamic duo of team managers, Burridge and Meyer. Things looked tight from the get-go with Muskies then Chubbie eeking out a slight 135.5 to 133.61 projection.
To say this was a nailbiter would be an understatement. Both, I mean all three, managers were up into the wee hours of Monday night waiting for every player to finish. The final…131.6 to 130.08, Muskies took the victory. Now if you’re thinking things went Muskies’ way because he’s the commish, you’re probably right. There’s been tinkering in the past and there’s sure to be some late-night shenanigans again. Look for Bills Deep to rebound week two after both managers put their heads together to figure out their roster.
EatSleepFantasy vs. The Big House
Week one’s second matchup features Marque with a q and Randy in a battle of the opposites. One manager who doesn’t stop talking versus the other who is almost non-existent when he’s in the room. If there’s one thing both can agree on though, it’s that Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T.
Projections showed Randy’s Big House scoring 131.76 against Marque’s EatSleepFantasy squad who was at 125.93. Things looked pretty close heading into the late games on Sunday but EatSleepFantasy lived up to their name as their manager literally eat, sleeps, and watches fantasy until every football second has been accounted for. EatSleepFantasy crushed their projections by scoring 138.46 while The Big House fell flat on their faces only scoring 104.72.
Fire the Cannons vs. Trump2020
In a battle of the two worst team names in the league, Sherm’s Fire the Cannons squad squared up against Curty’s Trump2020 team of misfits. For a guy who showed up to the draft with nothing more than a brain and dirty underwear, Curty’s nonchalant draft strategy seemed to pay off.
Trump2020 was projected to 132.95 and ended up scoring an additional 8.69 for a total of 141.64. Unfortunately for Fire the Cannons, their original projection of 128 was about as close as Jameis’s passes to his own team last year. They only scored 114.30, good enough for the third-lowest score of the week.
Keenan & Kel vs. Kupp O’Clam Crowder
To start things off with this matchup, let us all take a moment to remind ourselves how nervous Yianni gets during the draft. Seeing him rock back and forth impatiently awaiting his bid to be the highest is enough to make you want to stop bidding so he stops rocking.
Thankfully for Yianni and Keenan & Kel, the team name still fits last season’s as Keenan Allen is still on the roster. Unfortunately for me, I wanted him. With a relatively low projection of 126.92, they fell flat on their face to score a measly 95.44 points. While we all root for Yianni, his fantasy team does not root for themselves.
On the other side of the ball was Slade’s Kupp O’Clam Crowder, a team name that was undoubtedly found from a Google search about the best fantasy football team names. Coming in with the highest projection of all teams at 144.39, the team did not disappoint. They won handily as they scored 133.28. Although it doesn’t make for a nailbiting matchup, it’s always nice to win in fantasy.
Hyde ‘n Zeke vs. Run CMC
Things did not get off to a great start for the newly married Ron and Hyde ‘n Zeke. Apparently when he faces the law, he backs down. Good to keep in mind going forward. With the original projection of 130.93, things looked like they’d be interesting against Alec and Run CMC’s projection of 136.07. Although things were close, it wasn’t close enough to eek out the win.
Hyde ‘n Zeke fell just short of projections scoring only 128.46 while Run CMC exceeded expectations scoring a whopping 140.30. Even though OBJ and Evan Engram combined for 7.9 points, this team could be one of the scariest in the league. And if you think it’s not, then take it up with their manager. Just make sure you catch him before he’s knee-deep in a game of Warzone.
Michael Thomas vs. MakeAndrewGreatAgain
There’s a reason we saved the best matchup of the week for last. Nate vs. Andrew. Good vs. Evil. Two hard-headed idiots who are never wrong. After what others called another lackluster draft performance, Nate felt things were looking up for his fantasy career. With an extra $20 leftover from the draft, he figured he had things in the bag and could donate it to Andrew’s favorite charity, the Biden campaign.
Nate and Michael Thomas opened the week as the favorite with a projection of 125.97 to MakeAndrewGreatAgain’s 118.51. With some smack talk going down in text messages and Group Me, things were getting heated and fast. Fortunately for MakeAndrewGreatAgain, the injury bug plagued Michael Thomas. With two hurt starters, Michael Thomas and Le’Veon Bell, Michael Thomas was only able to muster up 116.9 points to MakeAndrewGreatAgain’s 120.6.
For those who lost, remember there’s always next week. For those who won, remember there’s always next week to screw things up. See you next week.