Ladies and gentlemen, we return for our week two recap of the 4th and Inches fantasy football league. We all know that week two of the NFL was hectic with plenty of big names going down with severe injuries. Similar to what they say on Law & Order SVU, this is the 4th and Inches football league and these are their stories.
Muskies then Chubbie vs. Michael Thomas
This was the week’s most highly anticipated matchup. One team reeling after underperforming in week one while the opposition swindled his brother into a deal that even a schoolyard bully would even frown upon.
Michael Thomas came into the game with high hopes after a lackluster week one performance. Although projections showed 117.82, Nate felt his team would exceed expectations. It turns out he’s not completely clueless about fantasy football. Michael Thomas scored a whopping 150.18, good enough for the fourth-highest score of the week. Lucky for him, he played the team who scored the most points.
Muskies then Chubbie was projected to score 136.89 and if you thought the pep talks he gave to his daughter were rough, you should’ve seen what he said to his team. Muskies then Chubbie scored a stupid 176.62 which literally made grown men cry. Thankfully for Michael Thomas, he gets another unfavorable matchup for week three. Someone might be throwing in the towel much sooner than anticipated while another thinks he has the best team in all of Yahoo Sports.
Bills Deep vs. Kupp O’Clam Crowder
Again, for some reason in fantasy football, we still have two managers on one team. To each their own. Has it ever worked out? No. Will it this year? We’ll see. Bills Deep came into week two down on their luck after a rough week one matchup that left them 0-1. Luckily for them, their projection of 137.35 made both managers feel a little more comfortable. However, Kupp had a slight edge with a projection of 141.8. It looks like naming your team after two mediocre wide receivers doesn’t help your team win.
Bills Deep got a solid performance out of Josh Allen who scored 42.5 points to help lead his team to a 143.6 point total. Unfortunately, Slade and Kupp o” Clam Crowder decided to score the week’s third-highest total of the week with 160.02.
Bills Deep and Michael Thomas square off in week three for a matchup that would leave one team 0-3 and the other 1-2. Will any bets be put down? Will blood be shed? Will one team sit a starter to make things more even? We’ll have to wait and see.
EatSleepFantasy vs. MakeAndrewGreatAgain
In matchup three of the week we find two of the most delusional fans in the league. A Patriots fan who will never admit Tom Brady was a cheater and another who thinks Nick Foles is the greatest quarterback to ever play in the NFL.
Marque and EatSleepFantasy slid into week two with a 1-0 record after a great performance from Devante Adams, Mark Andrews, and John Brown. I should probably mention Tom Brady too because, well, Marque loves every opportunity to say the guy’s name.
The projections for this one were tight and things should’ve been much more interesting than they turned out to be. EatSleepFantasy was projected to score 120.83 which was five less than MakeAndrewGreatAgain, a team name that only his mother could love.
To say that this was an unwatchable matchup would be an understatement. EatSleepFantasy scored a measly 88.68 points, a total Kyler Murray, DeAndre Hopkins, and Tyreek Hill beat on their own. MakeAndrewGreatAgain only scored 120.54 but it was more than enough for the mediocre competition he went up against. Look for MakeAndrewGreatAgain’s 2-0 record to get its first blemish in week three.
Fire the Cannons vs. The Big House
There isn’t much to say about this matchup. It was ugly from the get-go. Sherm’s team is solid from top to bottom. Other than a terrible name, I hope his team performs well on a weekly basis. Fire the Cannons came in with a 133.69 to 116.70 projection over Randy’s Big House and things pretty much stayed that way.
Fire the Cannons ended up with 129.26 while The Big House put up a truly grotesque 70 points. 70. I haven’t seen a number that low since my math grades in high school. The Big House sits at 0-2 and is showing early signs of being this league’s punching bag. Michael Thomas may have something to say about that though.
Hyde ‘n Zeke vs. Trump 2020
If there was a bigger story of underperforming and over performing, you wouldn’t look here. Ron’s team of Hyde ‘n Zeke should’ve hidden when they had the chance. Their 124.94 projection was a good start and they did outperform by scoring 129.6. However, the talent on this roster should be putting up over 155 on a weekly basis. Unfortunately for him, he’s more focused on moving his running backs than paying attention to the trades Muskies then Chubbie is doing to Trump 2020.
Apparently Curt and Trump 2020 enjoy being his brother’s player pool to pick from by giving away Kareem Hunt for Marlon Mack…who is out for the season with a torn Achilles. A trade even China wouldn’t do with the United States. Trump 2020 was projected to score 132.81 and ended up with 161.98, the second-highest total of the week.
At this point Curt’s team looks like they’ll give his brother’s team a run for their money. That is permitting any additional trades that give up everything for nothing.
Keenan & Kel vs. Run CMC
Who would’ve thought that Alec’s team name of Run CMC would come back to haunt him as Christian McCaffrey was barely able to run let alone walk after week two. Run CMC was projected to beat Keenan & Kel by a slim margin of 135.62 to 132. However, things did not turn out in his favor.
Thanks to some great draft day moves by Yianni, Keenan & Kel scored 144.6 and look like they’re one of the more dangerous teams in the league. Hopefully he doesn’t continue leaving Stephon Diggs and his 29 points on the bench each week for Allen Robinson’s six points though.
Run CMC got smoked in this one as they only scored 111.58 points. Thankfully Alec is looking to trade away two players for an entire team. We’ll have to see how that methodology pans out for him next week.
For those who lost, remember there’s always next week. For those who won, remember there’s always next week to screw things up. See you next week.