Week five was a rollercoaster in 4th and Inches. The Broncos and Patriots didn’t play due to COVID. The Titans and Bills were moved to Tuesday. And every team manager was trying to scramble to figure out who to pick up because Ron continued to pick up players and drop them so no-one else could get them.
Kicking things off this week…
Michael Thomas vs. EatSleepFantasy
After trade talks broke down including LeVeon Bell and Robby Anderson, Nate took on Marque…correction, Nate had the biggest blowout of the week against Marque. Although Nate’s Michael Thomas no longer has Michael Thomas, early projections gave Nate’s team a slight edge, 120.02 to 103.3. Good thing Yahoo had an awful prediction because the final was 148.66 to 81.32. I guess that’s what happens when you start a player who was out.
Nate’s interesting trade with Bills Deep panned out for the first week and left Marque bent over in the alley similar to him on a Friday night after the stock market closes.
Trump 2020 vs. Let Russ Be Culinary
This matchup was slated to be somewhat of a barnburner. Curt’s Trump 2020 team sat at 3-1 while Slade’s Let Russ Be Culinary was a perfect 4-0. Yahoo redeemed themselves in this prediction as it showed this being a 129.98 to 152.98 in favor of Let Russ Be Culinary.
Things went about as planned as they could go with a 136.60 to 156.68 final score with Slade heading into week 6 with a perfect 5-0 record. Does he have the best team? Will this last? Is Nate sick of writing Trump 2020 every week because of Curt’s stupid team name? Guess we’ll have to find out in week 6.
Muskies then Chubbie vs. Hyde ‘n Zeke
Well, Tyler started the year with seven steals of the draft, an absolute rager for Calvin Ridley, and was upset he missed out on Jerry Jeudy. If he started the year with a chubby, he must be playing with a wet paper straw at this point.
Muskies then Chubbie came in at 3-1 after being absolutely embarrassed the previous week while Hyde ‘n Zeke came in with the same record and having put up over 160 points the week prior. Early predictions showed Muskies with a slight edge, 140.67 to 132.48. Late scoring showed Muskies got waxed…again. Muskies lost 109.14 to 140.76 and is reeling. Will a blockbuster trade be made? Did Ron’s trade put his team in contention for the top spot? Will Tyler get upset that his team is losing and fine people? Probably.
Bills Deep vs. Fire the Cannons
Contrary to popular belief Sherm DOES read the weekly recaps. Sherm apparently also does his homework, something he didn’t do in high school, because he figured out a way to win by scoring 109 points to improve to 3-2.
Fire the Cannons was projected to put up 128.91 while Bills Deep was showing 124.33. However, Bills Deep had newly acquired Michael Thomas sitting on the bench because he’s a headcase (great management Nate). Bills Deep showed promise throughout but unfortunately, Amari Cooper decided to vanish once Dak Prescott got injured as he only put up four points.
Fire the Cannons ended up winning this garbage-fest 109.6 to 90.02. Bills Deep slides to 1-4 while Mike gets ready for the battle of his life against Michael Thomas.
Keenen & Kel vs. MakeAndrewGreatAgain
This season appears to be a similar situation to slumdog millionaire. On paper, Andrew’s team looks relatively weak. In reality, it’s like the Mons-Stars from Space Jam . Can he keep this up? He’d like to hope so.
The quietest guy in the league, Yianni, has responded to five text messages all year and can’t seem to figure out how to use Group Me. Is that frustrating for everyone else in the league? Absolutely.
Keenan & Kel was projected to mop the floor with MakeAndrewGreatAgain by a score of 139.31 to 118.07. Somehow, in a total turn of events, MakeAndrewGreatAgain put up 145.3 to Keenan & Kel’s 127.44. Keenan & Kel gets a big matchup against Muskies then Chubbie. Two 3-2 teams who need a win. Will there be any bets thrown on this game?
Run CMC vs. The Big House
It only took five weeks but The Big House has their first win. Randy is dancing on Christian McCaffrey’s ankle and thanking Bills Deep for spending $99 on Mike Davis so Alec couldn’t have him. Randy’s Big House has talent but in a complete reversal of Andrew’s team, they’ve all been underperforming and putting up lackluster numbers. Finally, things went his way. Did it have anything to do with his kicker putting up 22 points, maybe.
The Big House was slated to put up 113.95 points against Run CMC’s 126.35. Alec thought he’d be riding into week six sitting at 2-4 with CMC coming back in a few weeks. Unfortunately for him, that ain’t happening.
Run CMC scored 127.62 but fell just short to The Big House who scored 136.96. If Randy can hang on for next week, he may still have a chance to make the playoffs and wave at Alec from the inside.
For those who lost, remember why you lost. For those who won, remember there’s always next week to screw things up. See you next week.